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Sex Education

I HAD A DREAM

March 2001

I was watching a soapie on TV, in which two teenage girls were in competition for the affections of the same boy, one pregnant but abandoned by him, the other the object of his affections. Suddenly there was no longer TV, but through the door came the two girls in a real-life violent clash. I put my arm around my daughter to shield her from physical harm, and positioned us with our back to them to protect her from viewing the terrible event. When the fight was over, one of the girls, oblivious of our presence, sauntered towards the same door licking clean the knife with which she had performed the dastardly deed.

The meaning of this horrific dream became apparent to me immediately, and gave me much to think about. Nadir and I had, that previous evening, agreed to ban TV over Lent, but not for the reason we might have decided to abstain from chocolate and other good things. No, it was the result of increasing dissatisfaction, even anger, at the rapid deterioration in the standard of all programs. We are not giving up something good, which we could call a penance. We are giving up an evil and we could safely call that repentance.

One message from the dream is that the more we are part of the TV “culture” the more it takes over our lives and we become one with it. A terrifying thought!

A couple of years ago I met “Debbie” - a 21-year-old girl who had escaped a violent situation in Darwin - with her two little girls aged 3 and 2. She was pregnant with her third child. “Debbie” told me that she was an avid fan, and rarely missed an episode of Neighbours, since before she became a teenager.

Now I am not saying that watching the soapies will land you in such a desperate plight as Debbie’s, but it did make me think that such a strong identification the a-moral heroes and heroines of soapies could not do much good to a child in her formative years, especially if she was also deprived of the loving presence of a father to protect her and cherish her though her formative years.

Another precipitating factor for the dream was, I think, an article that had been recommended by Gail Instance of Human Life International, at the meetings we held at Lismore on Friday, and at Murwillumbah on Saturday night. It was “Sex Education and Sex Practice” by Louise Eickhoff, a child psychiatrist in Britain, and published in 1974 in “Child and Family”. It is a study comparing girl juvenile delinquents of the early fifties with a similar group of the sixties.

In his fascinating work, Dr. Eickhoff finds that, up until the 50’s, delinquency “was the outcome of some defect in constitution and rearing, of poverty and a precipitating factor. The offender was ignorant of the law, the nature of the act, or the significance of her involvement; or was motivated by hunger based on real deprivation; or was victim of adult forcefulness. The offence was simple (e.g. petty theft, truancy), unplanned and committed without accomplice, except for a sibling. The girl was never actively involved sexually. Leaving home was unusual, a sign of deep psychiatric disturbance, a symbolic journeying towards death and union with the desired parent. Girl delinquents were contrite, amenable and responsive: invariably sensitive, needing tactful investigation of sexual matters for they knew only euphemisms.”

However, by 1959, not only had the numbers exploded out of all proportion, but a new norm had appeared: “girls remanded for the gravity of their offences, and not their circumstances or state, normally endowed constitutionally, superior intellectually, no longer from a poor background, with no apparent precipitating cause for their deviancy. She operates with extra-familial, peer accomplices and beyond control, even cognizance, of guardians, i.e. like an adult offender. Her offences are grave, planned and adult type, e.g. systemised shoplifting and burglary. She knows the Law and the significance of her acts; but she is uncontrite, accepting her lifestyle like a married woman, as normal and her right. Leaving home is a conscious move towards immediate independence and a sexual goal. Yet she immaturely self-centred, unable to love, or wait for natural outcomes, apt to explode into violent tantrums when frustrated. Motivated by personal convenience, spite, revenge, greed and sexual desire. She is the direct opposite of the 1952 delinquent.”

What happened in society to bring about these remarkable changes? This report ls well worth reading, and though not conclusive, finds sex education suspect.

Copies are available from Apostles for Life or Human Life International.